Light gives hope

Hi guys! 

Today has been a productive day. My sister went back to her boyfriend’s house at the weekend so my Hamster, Harley got to have is usual house back. (My sister hated him in the bedroom so he was in a small cage on the landing). So today has been spent getting my bedroom back to how I like it now that I don’t have to share it and taking photos of Harley enjoying his big cage.  

Tonight has been relaxing, me watching shows on Netflix, light dimmed and candles lit. 

I looked at one candle and decided that the way the wax was melting, to me, was pretty so I took a few photos until I had taken the perfect candle photo. If you have me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram then you have probably already seen it. 

Just as I was admiring my ‘amazing’ photography skills, I remembered a quote – my favourite quote actually. I think the quote was originally said by someone else but I’m not sure. How I came across the quote is by watching Harry Potter. In the Prisoner of Azkaban, you are introduced to Dementors, a magical monster that drains all happiness from you, makes to world go icey cold, makes you feel as though you’ll never be happy again and makes you relive your most awful memories. The Dementors are JK Rowling’s metaphor for depression. I have often felt as if I have had Dementors following me constantly. 

I’m a massive Harry Potter fan and during one of my own ‘Dementor attacks’, I was watching Harry Potter and Dumbledore said,

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light”

This quote has never left me and has always helped me through difficult parts of my life. Because of that, I wanted to share you this edited photo of my candle. 

(PS I am usually rubbish at taking photos, this one makes me proud and happy) 

 

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“A weak man knows the value of strength”

Today, I was watching one of my favourite films, Captain America. It’s been a while since I last watched it, and when I did last watch it, my life was okay – there were the same issues regarding my family, but I was happy, there was none of this depression lark… Today, I watched it, still felling okay, but my life in general isn’t okay. So whilst watchingthe film, a line stood out to me which I liked very much:

A weak man knows the value of strength, and compassion

 

The line means quite a lot to me. I took my happy, okay life for granted. I complained a lot about my family, and I still have issues with them; I still feel a bit like The Black Sheep. But that aside, I had my friends, I was working and things we’re good. Soon after I finished college, I couldn’t seem to keep a job, and my best friends at the time became distant. I felt like I had no-one at all; and thus making huge, stupid mistakes.

But now, as I pay for my mistakes, and things just keep getting worse, I feel weak. I feel lost in a dark hole that I can’t escape. However, I do have my moments of strength that have helped me along the way, and I value that strength. If you are always strong, then lose everything and become weak, you break and crumble, as I did. But from knowing weakness, I’ve learnt what it takes to be strong. Also, knowing my weakness and strengths, I am compassionate towards others and can help them through their struggles.

I don’t even know if any of this is making sense, but it makes sense to me.

life’s Struggles

You’re not a thing that makes up a struggle, a struggle is something that is part of you. A struggle should not control your life, you should control a struggle.

If you’re struggling with something, you have the power to turn that around. Sometimes, that is easier said than done, but it can be done.

The above is just something that came into my mind. I don’t know if it makes sense to anyone else, but I know what I am trying to say.

Stop Worrying

This is a great photo; one I must try to take in.

I have got to stop worrying about things. Life isn’t meant to be perfect, if it was we would never learn anything. We would never experience emotions.

I made a mistake, and I’m paying for it, thus creating worry. However, if I hadn’t of made that mistake, I don’t think i would have got proper help for my depression in the first place, I wouldn’t have had a great big slap on the face by reality and now whenever I want to do something, the first thing I will ever think is, ‘will this hurt someone?’

So no, it isn’t all how I expected, or wanted, but I’m sure taking a lot of life lessons with me to my grave, even if the reality slap pulls me down sone.