Insomnia Worries

For years I have had troubles with insomnia. The worst of it getting so bad to only be getting 1-2 hours sleep at night. 

Doctors never seem to give me any long term help. I get given 7-14 Zopiclone tablets, 1 to be take when needed. My last prescription was at the beginning of March for 7 tablets, supposed to last me 2 weeks as you’re not supposed to take one every night, they lasted me about 9 days. 

When I go through these huge insomniac spells, the only thing that ever works is those Zopiclone tablets and I become so desperate to sleep, I don’t follow those rules. They never usually last but 1 nights sleep followed by a sleepless night doesn’t sort me out. I need a good 7 days of decent sleep to rest my body and function properly. So that’s the reason I don’t follow the instructions.

So it’s been 2-3 weeks since I ran out of my 7 Zopiclone tablets. Then I had a couple of nights where I had decent sleep without them, then fell back into nights of tossing and turning, where no matter how or where you lie, you can’t get comfortable. I can’t even explain how frustrated I got, how each day the struggle to get out of bed became worse. 

For the last 5/6 nights, I’ve slept pretty well. Falling asleep is still tough but once I’m asleep, I’ve actually been in a deep sleep and slept for about 5/6 hours. My mood has slowly been getting better now that I’m sleeping better but there’s always a worry that ‘tonight I probably won’t sleep. This isn’t going to last for long’. 

I dread going to bed. I never know if I’m going to be falling asleep or if I’m going to lie for hours on end waiting for a decent time to say “it’s time to wake up”, an acceptable time to get up and dressed and start the day. 

I hope these last few nights last, I doubt they will but it’d be so nice. 

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