Moving On: Day 133

Today has been an okay day. Today I have felt as if I have actually been listened to.

So I woke up and ring my doctors and managed to book an appointment for 11:40am so I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and then got up and ready to see Dr S.

I told her exactly how I have been feeling for the last few weeks and that nothing seems to be helping my mood and told her exactly how low I have been. She asked if I was still at counselling, I said I was but that the appointments are monthly and only last between 30 & 40 minutes.
Before I even said anything about antidepressants, she said what I was thinking anyway: “I don’t want to put you on antidepressants because, from what I’ve seen, they seem to knock you back” she said I needed to go counselling today and tell him what I told her, and tell him that she thinks I need intense CBT.
She also took a look at my knee because I’ve been in pain with it for a few days now. (Will get onto my knee in a bit).

So, after doctors appointment, I went and had some lunch and we its out my Xmas cards for the people at cheerleading, then I went to my appointment for counselling.

I went in, and waited in the waiting room and my old counsellor, Steph, had just finished with a client and she came and sat with me and started talking to me, asking how I was ect and I managed to tell her. I have always managed to open up with Steph more than any other professional and I think that is what helped me open up to A.
He told me that by me thinking that, I’m setting myself up for feeling low. He thinks there’s something causing the low mood but that I a just allowing it because I feel that nothing is going to change.
Well, A and I did a risk assessment because of how I am feeling amid we actually spent a good 50 minutes having a proper session.

ABOUT MY KNEE. Soooo last week or the week before, at work, I hurt my knee. I though I may have pulled a ligament because that’s what it felt like and I couldn’t straighten my leg or stand properly. Anyway, next day it felt fine and since then I’ve used it normally and done cheerleading.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I’m only really in pain when I’m doing stuff. Just keeping still isn’t bad unless like today, I’ve been walking around and stuff and it’s aching a little. But yeah, the thought of A&E scares me. What if it’s just a small injury and I’m making a fuss out of nothing??? Or what if it is serious and I need it to be in cast and things then I’m not gonna be able to work.

Today’s 3 Positives:

1) I managed to tell doctor and counsellor everything
2) I had a nice lunch
3) My drawings got complimented

Today’s score: 3/5

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