Today has been slightly better than yesterday.
Yesterday when I got the news that I couldn’t do the job that I had been waiting months to do, I felt broken. I felt every negative emotion under the sun.
I felt angry, sad, heartbroken, devastated and it came to, “I have nothing. I’m never going to be able to do anything I truly want to do. I’ve fucked up my life. There’s nothing to live for”
I went downstairs, turned on the TV but didn’t watch it. I just lay there staring at the ceiling wanting to cry but couldn’t. I was very emotional yet didn’t feel a thing.
This morning, I woke feeling slightly better. I was tired but that’s usual for me nowadays. I then got up and me and my sister went downstairs and watched a bit of TV. Early-Mid afternoon we came upstairs and restarted the packing. My packing left very little room for much else but with her, we managed to fit in everything we needed.
At around 6pm, we went downstairs and I cooked us both a chicken curry.
I then came upstairs and a really nice, hot shower. After my shower, I read a few chapters of the book I am currently reading, The Night Rainbow. Yes I am still reading this. I’m a slow reader and tend to only read a chapter at night, plus I haven’t read in a couple of nights. So tonight, I read 3 chapter and am now planning to go to sleep.
Holiday tomorrow! Wales here I come!!! Hopefully it will be a nice break. A nice time to forget everything that’s going on and relax.
I will hopefully have phone signal and/or the park will have wifi so I can continue writing this, but if not, see you all next Friday.
Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I finally finished packing
2) I have had a plastic spider and scared my sister a few times
3) I read my book
Today’s Score: 2/5