Moving On: Day 98

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I hope you’ve all had a good day if you were celebrating Halloween in some way or another.

Today for me has been slightly good.

I didn’t sleep well last night and had to get up to go to the job centre this morning which I really didn’t want to do. But, I don’t have to go again because I have a job so that’s good.

After my appointment, I went to Pikachu’s house and chilled there for a bit with her family. When she finally got home, we decorated the house for Halloween. I then made my way to cheerleading.

Cheerleading was really fun tonight. We all got to dress up and practice was a little light-hearted. We did some tumbling then we did some stunting games. My stunt group didn’t do well with “coach says” which is like Simon says but with stunts. We did okay, but doing libs and heelstretches, the flyer kept losing balance. We then did “highest basket” which is basically seeing who can do the highest basket. My stunt group was basically short people stunting – short bases and short flyer. Coach couldn’t decide between my group and another one, so we had to go again. The other group was full of tall people so they kind of got a little higher (but we put the down to height).. Our group however, were much cleaner so although by the video we were about 2-3 inches lower than the other group, we won because we were tidier.
So yeah, cheer was fun.

I’m now home and hoping for a better nights sleep tonight.

Xx

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I signed off from the job centre
2) I saw Pikachu
3) I had fun at cheerleading

Today’s score:4/5

Moving on: Day 97

Right now, I feel shit! I’ll explain why in a bit but let’s just start with today…

This morning, I woke up and had to go to Shaw Trust to fill out some forms to be able to be given a 4-week bus pass so I can get to work. I felt really tired this morning. It seems like I have just been busy every day this week and I’m really exhausted.
After getting the pass, I came home and ate the donuts I bought from Alton Towers yesterday. They’re only small donuts so I bought 5, but they’re so addictive!! I ate one, then thought I’d have another, an hour later I had another then somehow I had eaten 4 and felt slightly sick. (I ate the 5th after my dinner – totally not gonna be able to slack off at all at cheerleading tomorrow night)

This afternoon, I just felt like I couldn’t stay awake and so went to bed and napped until about 2:45pm. I then lay in bed playing a bingo game I have on my phone.
Tomorrow for cheerleading (it being Halloween), we get to dress up. It’s not normal ghost and witches dress up, it’s themed as “When I grow up I wanna be…” And I don’t really have cash to buy an outfit, I have several fancy dress outfits already but they’re all a bit X-rated. The only outfit that is suitable for cheerleading is a zebra outfit I have so, “When I grow up, I want to be a Zebra” LOL…. Because of that, I painted my nails in a zebra print design and also caught up on this weeks Hollyoaks.
At around 5:30pm, I went downstairs to get something to eat. I couldn’t really see anything I liked so got some oven cook potato hoops and had a plate full of them and some bread.
My dad then came home.

Earlier on, my mum told me my dad is starting work earlier and so would probably give me a lift into town to get the bus at 6.12am to get to work. So, I asked my dad.
He really kicked off big time. It really annoys me because when my sister was at home and going to work, he would usually give her a lift into town, whenever she wants picking up from anywhere, he does it. BUT ME, I get yelled at, get told “well you should have thought about all of this when you went for the job” it was basically a “no” then he said “I’ll be leaving at 5:50am. You had better be up and ready then I’m just leaving and when you get paid, it’s £5 a week diesel”… I’m thankful he said yes but this is what has made me feel shit. My sister can get anything from him, whenever he drove her to town, she never had to pay for diesel. She never got yelled at for asking for a lift. I hate it. For once, if I ask my mum or dad for a favour I would just like them to say “yes” without moaning or complaining like they do with T.

Now, I’ve just had a bath to try and calm me down but it didn’t work so I decided to write this.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I ate 5 donuts
2) I painted my nails
3) I spoke to Pilachu

Today’s Score: 2/5

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Moving On: Day 96

This is going to be a quick post because I am really tired.

Today, I went to Alton Towers for Scarefest and I really enjoyed it.
I don’t get scared easily and today just confirmed that. We were in the scare mazes walking around having people jump in front of us and supposed to make us jump and feel scared. The group of 10 that I was in, jumped and screamed – even my sister’s boyfriend jumped and apparently he is a tough one to scare. Me, although overall it was fun, I kind of felt a little disappointed because I didn’t get that scared. I found it creepy, but I didn’t really jump until the 4th maze which wasn’t a walk around, holding each other’s shoulder, kind of knowing what to expect type thing. This last one had nursery rhyme music playing and they came right up to you. Again, I was more creeped out than scared, but the last one did make me jump a little.
Also, riding the rides in the dark was awesome!!

I’m home now and ready for bed!

Todays 3 Positives:
1) I went to Alton Towers
2) I rode the rides in the dark
3) I heard back from my job interview and have the job!!

Today’s Score: 4/5

Moving On: Day 95

Hello folks!

I’m sat here, writing this, tired as hell. It’s only 8:30pm! It just feels like it’s been a really long day.

My alarm was due to go off at 8am but I woke at around 7am and I couldn’t fall back asleep for that hour. At 8.15am, I had to drag myself out of bed and get ready for my job interview.

The interview went well. The woman said she would give me a call “later” to discuss start dates. It got to 5pm, the time she said she would ring, but nothing, so I am going to give her a call tomorrow and see what happened. The way she sounded was as if I had got the job. So now, I’m a little worried.

I got home at around 2pm and chilled for a bit then started to feel a little tired so went upstairs and lay on my bed until about 7pm when I came downstairs to have some dinner.
I’m now still downstairs watching Storage Hunters UK and quite honestly it’s crap.

I’m kinda falling asleep so night x

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I went to my job interview
2) the interview seemed to go okay
3) I spoke to a couple of friends

Today’s Score: 2/5

Moving On: Day 94

Today has been a slightly better day.

I woke up at 8.30ish feeling really emotional and tired. I tried to fall back asleep but I couldn’t and so at around 9.30am, I got up and went downstairs.
I did my brother a breakfast of tomatoes on toast and sat on my phone playing games as he had control of the TV.

At lunch time, I did us both some lunch then after, I asked for the remote so I could watch something other than shitty cartoons. I watched a couple of things, then asked my brother to vacuum up (I really couldn’t be bothered). I had to bribe him though by saying if he vacuumed up he could have the remote back and watch TV.
A little time after that, I had a phone call from shaw trust to ask me to go in and see my advisor. I really hate when somebody asks me to do something (like meet them) when it isn’t planned. I wasn’t doing anything but I do like to plan things and I didn’t want to go but I had to. So off I went. The 20 minute meeting really pissed me off in a way. She told me about a job interview tomorrow. Really, that could have been done over the phone!!
I want a job and if I get it I’m not going to turn it down but it’s working in Amazon warehouse. And it’s just so shit. It’s not what I want to do at all. I will still work with mental health. The only reason I didn’t do the mentoring thing was because it was with youths. I can’t work with kids but I assumed I would be fine working with the ones aged between 16&19. But obviously not. So, I will just have to stick to working with adults with Mental Health and look for similar opportunities there.

Soo interview tomorrow. Let’s hope I finally get a job.

After that, I came back home and sat for a while before having dinner. I wasn’t really hungry at dinner so I just had a small, sandwich plate sized portion of these beef potato things.

After dinner, I came upstairs and watched deleted Harry Potter scenes. Then, I had a nice, hot bath. Since my bath, I have been watching random videos on YouTube and chilling in my bed.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I planned a trip to see a friend in Florida and visit Harry Potter World (all on the basis of me getting this job)
2) I arranged a job interview for tomorrow
3) I watched Jonathon Ross’ interview with Daniel Radcliffe

Today’s Score: 3/5

Moving On: Day 93

Today has been better slightly. Last night, my friend told me in order to move on I need to forgive C for hurting me. I’m gonna try that. Obviously it’s not an overnight thing but I’m going to focus on being able to forgive her and see if that helps bring me peace. I’ll keep you updated on that. Easier said than done.

I didn’t sleep well last night again, I think I was a little too angry. But I hope you all, in UK, had a lovely extra hour in bed this morning.

Today, I chatted with a couple of friends. I then got some snacks and watched Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. After Harry Potter, I went downstairs for lunch.
After lunch, I came back upstairs and decided to be a bit nostalgic and went back to my childhood, on YouTube and watched a few episodes of The Worst Witch.
This evening, I came back downstairs to watch X Factor and I was right again about who would go! I’m smart! Haha

I’m now just sat watching Jeff Dunham.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I watched The Worst Witch
2) I ate a chicken and ketchup sandwich
3) I spoke to friends

Today’s Score: 3/5

Moving On: Day 92

OMG how far can some people crawl up people’s arses! Seriously!
I was on Twitter earlier and somebody was tweeting C so I thought I would respond- half jokingly and half pissed off.
1) yes I committed a crime
2) yes, it is all my fault and nobody else’s
3) yes I take responsibility for it
4) yes I regret it

But it’s been 2 fucking years! Deal with it. I’ve not done the same thing in the last 2 years. I’ve not done anything wrong in 2 years. I think I’ve fucking learnt from it all!

5) I am under the impression this was all planned by C from the start of my contact. She has admitted she saved my emails to make a story and recorded my phone calls. NOBODY records phone calls – I don’t even know how to record phone calls. This tells me she had this all planned anyway.

So yes, this post isn’t exactly moving on but how can I when people won’t let me!

6) I understand that if I hadn’t of emailed C and lied there wouldn’t be a book but does nobody actually consider that a book doesn’t need to be written. There are other criminals and victims and they don’t write books about it and they move on with their lives quite happily! It is not the law that if you’re a victim of a crime, you have to write a book. So yes, she is just doing this because she leads a sad fucking life and is bored.
But really, who reads her books, like 5 people? She can’t even publish her books into real high street shops so why should I be worried that 500 people download it online. I’m not exactly going to see my name in Waterstones am I?
So yes, it slightly bothers me, but am I worried. Nope.

There, rant over.

Today:

I didn’t sleep well last night again. I woke up at 2:50am and was still lying awake at 5:30am. It sucked.

I stayed in bed quite a lot, reading my book (something by someone who actually can write decent books). And I sadly finished my book. But the reason I stayed in bed was because I could hear my dad downstairs and he seemed in quite a bad mood. At around 4pm I went downstairs to eat and stayed down there since.

I watched X Factor this evening as well as watching the war in Twitter. I’m so grateful for those who see the truth and defend me, like my Twitter friend M.

I’ve also spoke to my friend R tonight. He’s a guy I once went on a date with. We flirt a lot but I don’t see us ever being together. I just like to tease him.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I have people stick up for me
2) I finished reading my book
3) I watched X Factor

Today’s Score: 3/5