Moving On: Day 50

Today has been a random, do nothing day. I was in quite the “I don’t want to be around people” mood, so spent the day watching Orange is the new Black and last weeks Hollyoaks to catch up.

The storyline with Teresa became shit this week. Like seriously, after all the visits she has had lately, how did nobody know that she was 8 and a half months pregnant? It’s a shit storyline. No, the storyline was good, but Teresa suddenly standing up and announcing that she was pregnant just completely fucked it all up! If it was announced earlier on then it would have worked but this is absolute craziness.

My therapist did give me good advise yesterday. He told me to not look at what C was writing but I told him it was like an addiction, if you knew someone was writing about you, you would want to read it. So he advised me to try wean myself off it. Go one day with reading it then one without. Today has been a without reading day and has been so peaceful. Okay, the urge has been there. I have constantly wanted to search her twitter and her wordpress site but have managed not to. So, I’m going to try a slightly different approach, try not read it ever, but if I do then to do the 1 day reading/not reading and go the next day without and try and go longer periods of time in between reading her rubbish.
Without the urges to check, the day was peaceful. No arguments, no reading how evil and deluded I am. It’s quite nice.

That’s about it for today, I’ve just lazed in bed watching Hollyoaks and OITNB and then went downstairs to watch X factor.

Today’s 3 positives:
1) I caught up on Hollyoaks
2) I had a really nice ham sandwich
3) I used the toilet whilst a daddy long legs was on the wall by me (I have a phobia and honestly, was sat with a shoe in my hand, and sadly when the fucker moved, he got sentenced to death by shoe BUT I did well to last 30 seconds peeing with that thing standing there watching me, planning my own murder.) it was either him or me that died and the moment he got aggressive, I killed him in self defence.
I am actually more gutted that the first shoe I picked up was my batman trainer, now I have to clean it from crumpled legs and wings)

I feel quite evil now, I am slightly sorry but not really.

Today’s score: 3/5


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