Moving On: Day 45

Today felt good.

At 2am last night, I broke down. I couldn’t stop crying. I just felt really lonely. I got out of bed and wrote in my diary, planning to share that on here today but I’m trying to step away from creating problems. It wouldn’t have caused problems, I don’t think, to me it was just emotional but I have a feeling it might upset/anger someone. So I don’t think I will share it.

Today, I woke up and thought “moving on is hard. It doesn’t seem to be working” so I took out my Daily Maintenance Plan that I did with my old therapist, Rob. On that is a list of things that I must do daily to help keep my mood steady and I haven’t been doing that lately. A lot of what I previously wrote just never worked in the first place, and so I completely changed it. I made sure to begin this new start by following that plan.

It’s practically worked, like I still have to follow the part about relaxing before bed ect but the rest has gone well and either it’s just a coincidence and I’ve just had a good day or it’s already working.

After going through my recovery plan, I had lunch then played in the garden with my dog. I think she was hypo today because she just went crazy over the tennis ball. Usually she plays for about 2 minutes then gets bored and lies down. Today, she was going on and on for about 20 minutes so that took most of my new “spend 30 minutes outdoors” and half of “do 2 enjoyable things a day”.
I then came indoors and watched Orange is the new Black before my brother came home from school.

Once my mum came home, I went upstairs to my room and started a drawing. I think I might add a new life rule to always finish my drawings because I start things but never finish them. I have so many unfinished drawings in my art book!

My nan then rung me. My grandad has bought a new tablet and needed help setting it up so I went round to help them.

I then came home and watched Big Brother and am now writing this 🙂

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I rewrote my Recovery Plan
2) I played with Diva, my dog
3) I started a drawing

Today’s Score: 4/5



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