Moving On: Day 40

Today has been quite an emotional day. I just feel like I’m constantly about to cry.

I woke at around 9ish, and went downstairs where I had the house to myself – the first time in a while because my brother was back at school. I watched some TV and chilled in my onesie.

I received an email to say a job application was successful and to ring to arrange a job interview. My interview is next week. I then got thinking about things.

Because of what I did, C has named me on her blog. If you google my name, her blog comes up. Apparently employers google you just to see if anything comes up. I’m never going to get a job because of her nastiness. No matter how much I’ve changed, how much I am sorry, people aren’t going to see that. People just see the past, and if the past is negative, then you’re fucked.

What’s the point of being around when people are never going to see the good person I am now? Yes, I’m probably just being negative and people are going to tell me things like that won’t happen. But they will. Good things don’t happen to me. What’s the point in even hoping for the good?

Well enough dramatic, emotional crap. My sister has been away a lot at her boyfriends and I’ve hardly seen her. Tomorrow she has the day off work so I am meeting her at Alton Towers and we are going to spend the day there. Hopefully it will cheer me up.

Gonna be hard to find 3 positives about today but here’s what I have:
1) I arranged a job interview
2) I’ve gone a week without a sleeping tablet
3) I made 2 positives

Today’s Score: 1/5

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20 thoughts on “Moving On: Day 40

    • People deserve a second fucking chance! I can’t defend myself, it’s her word against mine! She once said that the court room were full of reporters and everyone was shocked about what I did. There was no one in the courtroom that didn’t need to be there, no reporters! The room wasn’t full of shock, the judge said “it’s a sad case, for you feeling lonely and needing someone and for Mrs ***** for being the victim of this”. If the room hated me, it wasn’t shown and I received great help!

      I am so fed up of all of this. She can warn people about me, about the dangers of the internet but she doesn’t have to name me and ruin my life.

  1. That’s one thing about the internet that truly sucks. Anyone can put anything out there, true or not, doesn’t matter. Once it’s out there for the world to see, so many people will judge you without knowing the facts, without knowing if it’s true or not. I don’t know what you did or didn’t do, doesn’t matter. People deserve privacy and people do change. There are also people out there that lie, so I don’t believe everything I see. I wish you the best and I hope your interview goes well and you get the job your seeking. Good luck!

    • Thank you. What I did was horrific. I lied to someone saying I was being abused. I wanted her sympathy and I wanted to feel like someone cared. She did, but once I was in the lie, I couldn’t get out and the lies got worse so that she could stay talking to me.

      I was an idiot, now I’ve lost friends and a career I loved and she is still out to destroy and punish me. Some days I ignore her and feel okay, then other days like today it all hits me and I feel like breaking down

      • The truth doesn’t matter. Maybe you can forgive and move on, too. doesn’t mean you have to be friends or like each other. Forgiveness is very freeing. I know this from experience. Someone killed my dad when I was 8. I finally forgave the son of a bitch and I’m now free. My hating this son of a bitch didn’t affect him any. I’m not taking sides. I’m not saying what was done was right, I’m just saying that I hated this guy for most of my life. Carrying that hate around only affected me and really messed me up for years. It was just within the past year that I gave in and forgave the son of a bitch and I’ve never felt better about that situation. It’s a lot easier to forgive and move on. That’s all.

      • OMG, I am so sorry, I am so out of it with the death of my brother that I posted that on your blog. It was meant for the other person that was telling me to go read the real TRUTH at some link. Didn’t even go there. Geeezzzz I’m sorry.

      • No, I have no need to read a bunch of nasty things someone has to say. You already fessed up, like I said. Everyone just needs to move on. It’s not going to change anything about me having you for a friend here on WP. People that have the need to do that kind of bullshit are only making themselves more miserable. It’s much more freeing to forgive and move on, ya know?

      • You’re welcome. You’re being the mature one, not trying to deny anything, that right there tells me you’re a good person. You’re not lying. You’ve fessed up to your mistake, what the hell does this other person want? In my book, you’re alright. 🙂 Good luck with that job interview. let me know how it goes.

  2. You fessed up to what you did. People that don’t know how to forgive, live a rough life. The hating they are feeling is affecting no one, but themselves. I know this from experience and I’ve learned to forgive, to set myself free. Just try to live in the moment. The past is done and over with and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Forgive yourself and move on. Don’t worry about something that may or may not happen tomorrow. One day at a time. I wish you the best on your journey. If you just can’t do one day at a time yet, do one moment at a time and work up to one day at a time. Live in the moment, right now, and that’s it. Free yourself, by forgiving yourself and moving forward. Don’t let this ruin the rest of your life. We all fuck up, we all make mistakes. No one is perfect. Take care.

  3. Mature people that will be interviewing you and hiring you will know when someone is just trying to be nasty on the internet. There is a lot of that on the internet so I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. What you are now is what is important and will be important to future job prospects. Good luck!

  4. Don’t allow the fear and worry to hold you back from your life! Fear is a thought in your mind. You can dig it up this moment by supplanting it with faith and success, achievement and victory over all problems.

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