Moving On: Day 67

After being sick all day yesterday with a fever and sore throat, the night didn’t really improve although, I did sleep more than Sunday night. I still struggled working out whether I was cold and wanted to wrap up or hot and wanted to strip off. My body temp was going up and down faster than a yo-yo! Not to mention my sore throat – I made 2 trips to the kitchen to get water, the second time I just filled a 1litre bottle up so that I could keep it on my bed if I needed it. But at some point (quicker than Sunday night) I did fall asleep and by the time I woke up, the fever didn’t seem to be there. The sore throat however, was much worse so I booked in to see my doctor.

The doctor checked me over and said I had a “bacterial infection” on my tonsils. She took a swab so she could see what has caused it and I need to ring back at the end of the week for results. She also said that because it’s bacterial, antibiotics wouldn’t help and so gave me a spray which acts as a pain killer called, ‘Benzydamine’. You’re supposed to spray 4-8 times every 1 half-3 hours so I am trying to do 4 times every 1 half hours which equals 8 every 3 hours but more gradual. Sometimes it seems to help ease the pain a little but others not so much. Today I have managed to eat. It hurts to swallow so instead of meals, I’ve been snacking, when I say snacking, Greggs had 2 for 1 on sausage rolls so I had sausage roll for lunch and a sausage roll for dinner and a chocolate bar… Not healthy but shhhh.

After my doctors appointment, I went into town. I went to the post office to deliver something and then went to the library. I returned some books and picked up 2 more. Usually when I pick books, I follow a certain Author or genre and don’t tend to venture to new things, or I read something someone has recommended. Today, I picked 2 books at random because I liked the cover art on them.
The first one I picked is called “The Night Rainbow” and I have read the first 2 chapters and I am starting to enjoy it. Depression seems to have killed my ability to read. At the moment I either can’t get hooked into a book like normal (that’s why I decided to just pick randomly today) and reading the first couple of chapters, I’ve found myself having to go back a couple of pages to remember where they are or what they are doing as I keep forgetting. And it’s not as if I’ve put the book down and gone back to it, I have just read these chapters without stopping but my depression seems to be making me unable to concentrate or take things in.
That being said, I have enjoyed what I have read so far and hope I can read to the end and say the same thing.

After town, I came home and Skyped my friend and then did a job search. I went downstairs for a bit to eat my 2nd sausage roll and my dad came home from work. Him and my mum started an argument and I just couldn’t be around it so came back upstairs and had a bath, then started reading the book (as mentioned above).

Today’s 3 positives:
1) I went to town
2) I picked 2 random books and started to read one
3) I had a greggs sausage roll

Today’s Score: 3/5

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Moving On: Day 66

Today has been utter poop.

When I got into bed last night, I started to feel really sick. My throat seemed sore and dry, my head was pounding and although my skin was burning to touch, I was shivering cold.
Time kept passing last night but I couldn’t sleep because I felt so bad. At some point, I did sleep though and slept until about 10.35.

This morning, I went downstairs to watch TV but I became so hot again that I was dripping sweat. I felt horrid so went for a shower then got dressed and went back downstairs. I decided to wear cool clothes but this time I was freezing.
I waited until my brother came home from school, and my mum and then went back to bed. So from about 4.30, I have been sleeping on and off, still hot to touch yet shivering and feeling so sick.

I don’t usually drink much, but I’m trying to help myself first before going off to the doctor so today I have had a glass of water, a glass of ribena and a glass of ribena with lemonade and going to go downstairs and get another drink when I finish this one. I usually only drink 1-2 drinks a day so all this fluid is making me need to pee a lot!

So this is it for tonight, a very sick Jadey.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I managed to answer some emails
2) I Facebook messaged a friend I haven’t spoke to in a while.
3) I have kept myself pretty hydrated

Today’s Score: 1/5

Moving On: Day 65

I’m really shocked and amazed that I have managed to do this for 65 days. Okay, I have almost forgotten occasionally but I’m the kind of person that very rarely starts and finishes/continues things. So this is an achievement for me 🙂 😄

Today started off slow. I had another decent nights sleep last night but again, woke up feeling tired. I played a few games on my phone and then went downstairs for a few hours.
At about 2.30pm, we had Sunday lunch. My dad did us lamb this week. Lamb is my favourite meat and if anyone of you dares to ruin that by reminding me of the animal ect, you will be hunted down and killed.
I live in denial when it comes to meat. I don’t like to think of innocent animals, so I don’t think about is and if it does come up, I lie to myself and say it had died from natural causes. If I didn’t think like that, I would be full on vegetarian which would not be good as I already don’t eat enough food or get enough vitamins and things. So nope… DO NOT discuss this lamb thing please.

After lunch, I went to my room and played more games before chatting to a friend. I also started packing my suitcase for mine and my sisters holiday. I stupidly told my sister that we should use the big suitcase and put our things together. Noooope. I’ve already filled it 3/4s of the way and that’s just my things. That doesn’t include anything of my sisters or shoes.
Now shoes, to put this in perspective, a few years ago, I went for a weekend away (Fri – Mon) and took 16 pairs of shoes; I wore them all by the way. This time, we are away for 7 days and I have 114 pairs of shoes to decide from. So yeah…… I’m screwed. I can even rule out taking 6 pairs because they are flip flops or sandals and its Wales in October… So no need for them. But I have 2 pairs of trainers, too many heels and about 30 flats to choose from! I am going to try and just take 4 flats, 1 pair of trainers, my boots, and 3 or 4 heels. That’s 10 pairs for 7 days. I can do that I think.

Then, my friend Pikachu came round and we had a chat about things and a bit of a laugh. It was nice to see her.

She then went and I watched X factor.

Today’s 3 positives:
1) I have made it to Day 65 on this blog
2) I saw Pikachu
3) I made a start on my suitcase

Today’s Score: 4/5

Moving On: Day 64

Hello folks, I hope you have all had a great Saturday and a good start to the weekend.

I actually slept quite well last night – on my own, without any help from Zopiclone or a relaxation hypnosis this I have on my phone which occasionally helps me. This was purely me being exhausted, getting into bed and sleeping. And can I just sat, that feeling when you wake up and realise you’ve had a decent nights sleep, without any help, and as natural as possible is the best feeling ever! I’ve forgotten what that feels like. Over the last few months, sleep has either been aided my tablets or more recently a hypnosis recording. IF I have managed natural sleep, the most I’ve ever got has been 4 hours and for a while 4 hours sleep was, to me, a good night. That’s how bad my sleep has become (without Zopiclone). So last night, sleeping from about 10/11pm and not waking until about 9.30am was just amazing. I was so tired yesterday that I think if I didn’t sleep, I would have had a breakdown today.

So, I woke in a good mood. I then went downstairs and had food, came back upstairs to finish off cleaning my bedroom/sorting holiday clothes out (which I started on Tuesday and haven’t gone back to since). Today, I picked up a handbag, and that’s it. I really seemed to have no energy despite the sleep I had. So I lay on my bed and played music.

Late afternoon, I went downstairs to an empty house and caught up in Wed-Fri’s episodes of Hollyoaks. I’m kind of finding the Sonny storyline boring. We all know he probably managed to escape. It’s the ‘Dirty Den Death’ thing from Eastenders happening all over again. Meh… Hope it ends soon and Teresa gets back. Although, her pregnancy pissed me off too – like nobody knew she was pregnant before she stood up (before the breakout of prison plan). But yes, I am so addicted to Hollyoaks. I love it.

I then had some dinner and watched X Factor where my dad really pissed me off. My mum was asking me something as X Factor came on and he says “Shhh you want to watch this” yet all through the damn thing he talks and plays videos in his phone and shit. It annoys the hell out of me.

So now I’m in bed, hoping for another good nights sleep. Soo night all!

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I watched Hollyoaks
2) I listened to music
3) my friend sent me some amazing photos

Today’s Score: 3/5

Exciting news

This news is really exciting! I can’t wait to be doing peer mentoring, then work my way to becoming a counsellor and working with mental health.

Being through crap myself, I think that I would be good at doing this. And nobody can stop me.

😄 going to be sat by the letterbox now until it arrives 😀

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Moving On:Day 63

Today has been a busy day and I am so tired.

I woke up this morning, got ready and went to the job centre. I then headed off to the town my interview was at.
My friend, who lives there, met me and we had lunch then I had my interview. Interview went well until the end. By the end of the interview, my foot went dead and I couldn’t feel it – not the best of things when in heels. I got let out of the offices, had to go back and hand in my visitors badge. I left the office a second time and had to go back because I had left my bag there! So, I was walking funny because I had a foot I couldn’t feel and now look as if I am the most forgetful person ever!
I then went to my friends house for a little bit before coming home.

I’m now home, it is 8.25pm and I feel absolutely shattered. I actually want to go sleep this early.

Oooh, also my mum has recently had a cold, my sister a sore throat and I think they have both passed their germs to me as I’m feeling sore throatish and my sinus’ feel all stuffy.

Today’s 3 positives:
1) I went to my interview
2) I met up with my friend
3) my DBS (police) check is confirmed as being in the post – career working with mental health can start soon (beginning with my voluntary role as Peer Mentor!!!)

Today’s Score: 3/5

Moving On: Day 62

Hello guys,

Last night, I didn’t sleep at all again. The last I looked at the time, it was about 6.45am and it was sometime after that that I fell asleep, only to be rudely awakened by my alarm at 8.30am. I had to get up too because I was meeting a friend.

Soooooo, I met my friend and we had a good catch up then I came back home, went into town to buy some food for dinner and some tights for my interview tomorrow.
Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day so I hope I sleep tonight.

I came home around 2pm and sent some emails to people, applied for a couple jobs and dossed about on Facebook.

That’s pretty much it for today.

Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I met up with a friend
2) my sister told me she bought me a batman Tshirt
3) I had mushy peas for dinner (and a mushy peas sandwich)

Today’s Score: 3/5