Um well I would like to say today has been better, and if I had wrote this earlier, I would have.
I actually slept last night, without Zopiclone. I went to bed at about 12:30 but didn’t feel tired. I put YouTube on on my phone, and watched (listened to) a sleep and relaxation video. I felt relaxed listening to it, then it ended I had to turn it off and remove my headphones and then get comfortable again. I didn’t think I would sleep, and it did take a little while but I slept and didn’t wake until 10am this morning.
I then did some exercise, not much, some press ups and sit ups and squats but I did something. I went on my laptop and played some games and looked for jobs. Then I thought I’d see if I can upgrade my phone earlier. After everything with C, I had my phone taken off me so had to get a new one. I got this one a 2-year contract and it ends on Jan 11th 2015 but from about 3 weeks of having this phone, I hated it. Phones4U are buying out my contract and I’m getting a new phone tomorrow 😀
Then, things went downhill. I started to randomly feel crap and I still do. I’ve no idea how to cheer up. I have been off antidepressants for about 2 months and lately my mood has been going from happiness to extreme sadness. The depressed moments are awful. I don’t want to live, I want to cut. I am trying so hard not to do either but each time I get these low moods, they seem to get worse. I don’t want to go back on antidepressants, the ones I have tried all gave me awful side effects so I just thought that I would try without. Hopefully this passes.
Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I exercised
2) I applied for jobs
3) I slept last night
Today’s Score: 3/5
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