The person who I mention in this, may read so I want her to know this is nothing personal, it’s just an update on me, and I feel that I need to just bring it up.
Last night I didn’t sleep very well. I got into bed and opened up Twitter. I like to have even number of followers as I am following on Twitter, so went through my followers. I came across a name of someone I only know by name, things were said and she kindly unfollowed me.
It really bugged me a lot. Whether she spoke to her mum or not, I just couldn’t understand why she followed me. A lot of random thoughts were going through my mind and I just couldn’t sleep. So today, has been a tired day. I ended that conversation now, I’ve no idea what happened between them but speaking or not speaking, I don’t think I want to have anything to do with that family.
This morning was a busy morning, which really sucks when you are tired. I had my job centre appointment (really hope I am not there any longer), then I saw my doctor – I may not be in Stafford much longer and so thought I would see her as I know she is away for the next 2 weeks. I then had therapy. I spoke a lot about C in therapy today – I think last night just put her at the front of my mind. I spoke about the messages people to sent me a couple weeks ago and how they made me feel. I said “At one point, I thought that this is never going to stop. It’s going to always carry on. The only way to stop it would be by killing myself” A replied “You didn’t really think that”. He was quite shocked at how much it affected me. The appointment went quite well and he said I seemed a lot better this time around, that I was more talkative and open – which is good. We have another session in a couple of weeks, then if I move I won’t be able to have any more, so I hope that we get some practical help underway.
I then came home, starving and had some lunch, then caught up on last night’s sleep. My dad then ordered a chinese and now I am chilling on the internet, chatting to a few friends. I have been chatting to someone off a dating site for a couple of days and I am meeting him tomorrow. He’s going to pick me up and take me to his house to just chill for an hour or so then bring me back. He can’t really go out for long as he is expecting a delivery. I’m nervous but so excited to meet him.
Today’s 3 Positives:
1) I went to all 3 appointments
2) I had a chinese
3) I had a phone call with my friend
Today’s Score: 3/5