As you may be aware, I am writing a book. And today finished chapter 3 😀
Today has be tough. I had another sleepless night last night and had an appointment at the Job Centre this morning, which I really could not be bothered to go to. My energy is so low at the moment, it’s hard to get motivation to do things- nevermind a 35min walk to the jobcentre and back. But I went, then had pactically run out of energy. I couldn’t muster up any motivation to walk home. I decided to take a little detour and walk 5 mins to town. I sat on a bench thinking about things, then decided that I would go and sit in the library and write for an hour before going back home.
So, I sat in the library and wrote chapter 3 of my book. I kind of like how I’ve left it, so at the moment, chapter 3 is finished (although this may change if I ever get enough sleep to provide me with decent writing skills) It may seem good enough at the moment as I’m sleep deprived, but if/when I actually sleep and can concentrate, I may see it all differently. My friend B has seen the first 2 chapters, and has given me great feedback, and I’m sure she will be honest about chapter 3 when she reads it.
But… I’m so so so tired. This sleep issue is getting ridiculous now. It’s been about 2 and half weeks, and in that space of time, I’ve had 1 nights sleep!! My mood has gone way down from the lack of sleep and I’m trying everything to just sleep. I have done so much walking in the last few days, just to give myself a bit of fresh air and relax me and such, I have a bedtime routine which I’ve had for months, but nothing seems to be taking any effect. It just makes me even more tired and my energy is 0.
I rung Rob today, my old therapist, and he’s said to give him a call on Monday.Hopefully, I can give him some good news about all this because I really don’t want to be referred back to the service after only a month out of it.
Tuesday 1st was my mums birthday, and this weekend she is having family around to celebrate. I wouldn’t usually be too bothered, but I’m already tired, and I can’t be doing with having a house full of people. Plus, my mums usual drunk state will double, and I can see myself getting really frustrated. Like tonight, she is going to the local pub with my grandad, will probably have about 8 pints there, but has bought 4 cans from the shop for beforehand. So, I’m hiding in my room. I just can’t put up with her drinking any more.
Have a fun weekend peoples 🙂