30th March 2014

Today has been a much better day. I actually slept last night 😀 

I felt a little poop with the whole Mother’s Day business. I have seen a lot of things on Facebook about how much people love their mums and such, and it made me wish I had that kind of relationship with my mum. It’s also my mum’s birthday on Tuesday, and that kinda sucks too. On my friend’s mum’s birthday, I went to their house and celebrated it with them. With my family, it’s just you open your cards when you wake up. We don’t all get up at the same time or do anything. The only celebrations are for ‘big’ birthdays, like my 21st. And that only turned into a party because me and my sister wanted one. My parents didn’t organise anything until we said we were having a HollyWood – red carpet, themed party. When we mentioned that, my mum and grandparents organised a limo ride around town before our actual party. 

My 21st sucked. The day before it, I got arrested and that was on my mind all night. I smiled for photos, and I danced so that no one would ask what was wrong. The whole night, I was wishing I hadn’t planned anything. I remember wishing I could curl up in bed and hide from the world. But, everything was planned and booked, and I had to make an appearance. I got drunk, and very merry yes, but all night, in the back of my mind was events from the day before, reliving the time in the cell and wondering if there had been a way to kill myself. As much as possible, I tried to enjoy my 21st, not for me, but for everyone else who had turned up.

I’ve gone a little bit off track here, but you get the picture. I felt down about not being close to my mum, but generally, the day has been a lot better than the ones I have had lately with little to no sleep.

I’ve also, at last, managed to pick up a new book. I’m stretching my mind and reading 2 completely different books at the moment. 

1) The Hunger Games – Mockingjay

2) P.S. I Love You

3) Seduced By Fire

Seduced By Fire is written by Tara Sue Me and I love her books. Last year, I read The Submissive Trilogy, which, in my words is like 50 shades of Grey but sooooooo much better. After reading, I couldn’t wait for her new book, this book. It came out the beginning of March, and I’ve told myself I would at least finish either Mockingjay or P.S I Love You, before even reading a third. But I couldn’t actually hold off any longer.Seduced By Fire is again, another erotic, 50 shades style book. I kinda love this genre and even after just one chapter I’m wishing I was the girl, Julie. 

Sigh.. One day, I will be. I will find my someone who knows how to play 😉 

Now, you’re getting an insight into my fantasies, sorry.  


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