Cannot stand home life

I’m really fed up of living at home with ny so-called ‘family’.
On Saturday night, me, my sister and my friend went downstairs to make a sandwich. My sister only cut the bread for her, and so I was left to do me and my friends. My dad was also in the kitchen at the time (and had seen my sister make the sandwich). I started cutting the bread for me and my friend when my dad spoke up, “Use the chopping board when you’re cutting the bread, you’ll scratch the sides”. Then, rightly or wrongly, I pointed out that he had just seen my sister cut bread without the chopping board. This turned into an argument, I stormed to the bathroom and started scratching at my scars, wanting to cut.
Then Sunday came. All was fine until my mum came home, drunk. My brother has hurt is shoulder and she wasn’t sure if his school could give him unprescribed medicine. I said they could if she wrote a note, she didn’t believe me, turned it into an argument, then brought up.the chopping board argument. I again, fought back, this time very angry that nothing was said about my sister. I was shouting louder than I had been Saturday and it made my mum start yelling in my face -literally CM from my nose. I battled it out with her, then she slapped me hard across my head. I don’t know what got into me, but I attempted to hit her back, but missed. She then grabbed at ny hair and started pulling at it. I could hear and feel the roots coming out. Then my dad stepped in, and told me to get my stuff and leave. I went to my room, took several tablets and cried my eyes out, and had a couple panic attacks where I couldn’t breathe and felt sick. Someone had contacted my grandad and he came up, said my parents wanted an apology from me. I refused. I had done nothing wrong, and quite honestly could not physically make myself talk, let alone move and go and apologise.
Monday, I didn’t see my parents at all, and today (Tuesday) things are still bad. I just went downstairs to get myself my dinner and after I ate it, tried to pluck up a conversation with my dad. I asked him if it had snowed at work. He gave a monotone, moody “yeah” whereas usually we would get a discussion. So I’m being totally ignored still. And it sucks!!!! 😥

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