Thoughts and feelings

I’m suicidal today. I’ve not created plans yet, I’ve tried to keep my mind distracted. It’s a new year, time to put everything behind me from the last year; but I can’t!

All I keep thinking when I tell myself to move on is, there’s going to be a book. I’m might move on, but there is going to be a book. I’m going to be named and shamed, and already have. Somebody on Twitter first told me.. “Hey, I think this is about you (posted a link to C blog”. That broke me, I replied on twitter that it was me, had my head bit off, again I broke, then someone commented on this blog, I broke a bit more. I told my friend, Louise, then she did a test. She googled my name and town… It’s easy to find my FB, Twitter, C blog which has a link to this blog. She didn’t tell me she did this straight away, but when she did, I checked myself and broke some more.
C is not going to stop until the world hates me, until I’ve broken completely. My solicitor at the time said C wants the worst punishment given. Obviously it hasn’t gone her way and so she is punishing me her way.
But I can’t go on anymore, I’m anxious that I’m going to get more hate messages, or worse and I can’t take it. C is not going to stop until I’m dead. Someone just give her a gun and put me in front of her, it’ll be less painless and quicker.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone


4 thoughts on “Thoughts and feelings

  1. I stumbled upon your blog. I just want you to know it takes a lot of courage to do what you’re doing-so thank you for writing this and for sharing your feelings with us. Believe it when I say that I know what you’re going through, but I promise you, it will be okay.

    I don’t even know you, but I already like you. 🙂

  2. I have a hard time understanding this post. What I think I am getting is that you are feeling suicidal but that you want to write a book. Is that correct? What is “C blog” ?

    • No, someone who, on here, i call C is writing a book about me. Someone on Twitter sent me a link to C’s blog which was also abouy me. A lot has happened in the last year, and it’s made me suicidal. I want to move on, but can’t because of this book

      • You mean somebody is writing about you against your will? That is cruel. I don’t know what’s up with that but I am glad that you have a blog where you can write too. My blog allows me to speak for myself rather than let others do all the talking.

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