This is gonna be my journal today. I’m doing it on here just because my sister is in bed, and I need to write.
Today has been an average sort of day. A bit mixed as I’ve been thinking a lot about Coral and the funeral tomorrow. I went downstairs for lunch, and managed to eat it all, then I sat on the laptop, chilled and watched tv. My mum went to my nan’s again, as usual on Sunday’s, and she came home rather drunk and irritating. She just doesn’t ever shut up when she’sdebenture drinking that much. I decided to paint my nails for tomorrow, and then she was like “don’t you want a shower” trying to make me go upstairs. Also, she asked where the nail varnish remover was, I said I didn’t know. I text my sister to look upstairs and my sister said my mum found a bottle in the cupboard the other day! Then my mum yelled at me for not knowing. Safe to say, she completely annoyed me tonight.
Also tonight, I received a reply from Samaritans email, in it they asked how bad things were right now. I explained everything about losing my career ECT and it made me actually realise, my life is pointless. Everyone would be happier without having to deal with me. The only thing that’s stopping me doing anything is that I want to go to the funeral tomorrow. Also, I have counselling with Steph on Wednesday (fingers crossed for no cancellations). I’m hoping I can hold myself up until then.
Todays 3 positives:
• I ate Sunday lunch
• I had a shower
• I painted my nails
Todays score 2.5/5
A positive about me: I’m good at painting nails
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