Feeling Low

Well, I’m feeling low again.

Yesterday, my friend made me join her family in the Xmas parade. Her Dad does the Mascot for our local football team, and I got dragged in to hand out leaflets. I panicked but managed to fob someone else in to give out my leaflets, but I still had to walk in the parade. A positive, I managed to do it, despite almost crying. Before the parade, ‘backstage’ there was a Shetland Pony charity. It sounds pathetic but it upset me. C has many horses and 2 Shetland Ponies. I loved to hear about them and her animals, seeing them in the parade gave me a lot of conversation flashbacks. But then it got worse, there was a light brown pony with a beige mane. Exactly the same as one of C’s ponies. The memories came flooding back. I miss our talks, she would tell me about them all and I felt part of her life, like I was actually there.
I’d rather be dead right now than have to face these memories. It sounds pathetic that seeing several ponies upsets me.

Also, I’ve made several attempts to get Steph and Rob to rebook me after our last session got cancelled and I’m not getting any reply. I only have 2 sessions left, and this last week, without seeing them has been hard. Maybe it’s because I’m expecting another appointment, but it doesn’t give me much confidence for how I’m gonna cope when they actually end.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone


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