Yesterday, I was told that my life-long friend Coral had died. Our Mum’s were friends and we became friends before we could even walk or talk.
I couldn’t sleep last night; I was flooded with memories and the conversation I had had with her Mum earlier in the day. That dreaded conversation. “Jade, it’s Tracy [P], it’s not good news; Coral died this morning”. After a few “Oh shit, Oh God” moments, I managed to ask if she was Okay (But how stupid, her daughter has just died and I’m asking if she was okay!!!!! DUMBASS JADE!) I was speechless and so promised her I would get my Mum to phone her.
In 2004/5 ish, they moved to Norfolk, which from me is about a 4/5hour drive. But the last few years, Since Coral learnt to drive, she came back here to visit a few people, and would usually stay the weekend at mine. We met up at least once a year, and were still close. Coral was/is so special. She was born with a bad heart, and had had several operations before her first birthday; Doctors said she probably wouldn’t last past 5 years old. Her health never stopped her doing anything – it just made her more determined to live life. A couple years ago, she had a heart transplant and it seemed to go really well. She said she felt better, and that she didn’t turn blue in the cold anymore. We even went to a local theme park, Alton Towers on the year- anniversary of her transplant as she was now allowed on the rides. She recently moved in with her Fiancé, and was due to marry in 2016. Her life was good. In October, during one of our chats, she mentioned she had been diagnosed with Connery Artery Disease and Angina, told that she couldn’t have kids. I didn’t know how serious it was, still don’t but she said she would be fine once the new meds start working. November 11th, we chatted about times as kids, at school learning to play the damn recorder and how we would purposely forget ours to not have to join in. Everything was normal.
Wednesday 27th November, Coral went into hospital with an infection and died the following morning. I just assume she was too sick to fight the infection, but it’s not something I really want to ask her Mum or Sister.
It’s been almost 24hours since I had that phone call, and since then, the world has turned a darker shade of grey. Being depressed, things already seemed grey, but today it’s almost black. Nothing seems real, and it seems like someone is gonna just tap me on my shoulder and tell me it’s some sort of joke, that she’s not dead and she is fine. But, I know that’s not going to happen.
Personally, this is affecting me in 2 ways. The first, I am positive – if Coral can go through all she’s been through and was still always happy and on top of life, then so can I. The second, I don’t want to live anymore; we are all going to die at some point, so why should I carry on when there is nothing to actually carry on for. I then get guilty – Why should I be alive, I’m a horrible person and I don’t want to live, Coral is the nicest person I could know, she wanted to live, but she’s gone.
Life isn’t fair. The good always go first. I’m just privileged to have know Coral for practically all my life.
Rest In Paradise Coral – 06/08/92-28/11/13