I love my friends to pieces, especially Louise because she has been here for me 100%. Her and her family are like my adoptive family; I call her Mum ‘Mummy’. I just get so many hugs and such love from that family that I don’t get at home.
I’ve recently spent a lot of time there, and it’s a nice break. Louise has also spent time at mine. For example, this week, she came home from work on Wednesday, stayed at mine Thursday, I stayed at hers Friday, and she stayed at mine last night. It’s great, and keeps me distracted, but my sleep gets worse. I don’t sleep at hers (just a thing where I don’t sleep at others houses) and when she stays at mine, we share my bed and I’m awful at bed sharing. Therefore when she goes back to work on Sundays, I’m left extremely tired. I need a week of just sleeping at mine, on my own, because even if I still struggle to sleep alone, I can relax more, and starfish across the bed.
The problem is, I’m always asked to either stay at hers, or her stay at mine and I can’t say “No”. I feel awful. She’s also going through a bad time, and needs me as much as I need her; I don’t want to say “No” and make her feel bad or like I’m not there for her.
I have a thing in my head what I want to say, but never say it.
“I know you’re going through a bad time, and I don’t mind coming to see you, or you coming mine but I don’t sleep well and need to have a few nights where I can lay in my own bed and chill”
It sounds so good in my head, but I get to the point where I want to say it, but just chicken out and don’t say it. I really don’t know what to do.