Waking up

I’m just so fed up of life now, that I dread waking up each morning.

Saturday night, I went to get my blade, but it wasn’t there. I had lost it. I went completely hysterical and started crying, so I got myself another blade and gave in and cut.

Last night, I took 1 prescribed sleeping tablet, and 2 over-the-counter ones. An hour later, thoughts were still running through my head and I took the final 2 zopiclone in my packet, and another 1 or 2 over-counter ones (can’t quite remember). It was a small overdose, and for a while, I was considering taking every single tablet I have. However, the drowsiness kicked in and I soon slept. I remember falling asleep hoping I don’t wake up. But, I’m annoyingly awake!

I have a sleep and relaxation group later, but I honestly can’t be bothered to go… Nothing really works other than zopiclone. I’ve tried several relaxation things but I just struggle to switch off my thoughts at night and don’t sleep.

I’ve ran out of zopiclone, and sleeping tablets are apparently addictive and they don’t usually give them out. But I wanna see the doctor and see if they can give me another prescription, but i don’t want a wasted trip to the doctors.


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