Day 40… I cut again

This weekend was meant to a great weekend. My parents and brother have gone camping, and I’ve got 2 friends staying tonight and tomorrow, having a girlie time etc…

I tidied up mine and my sisters bedroom (we share), and the bathroom. I accidentally put my sisters pyjama bottoms in the wardrobe, and tonight, she couldn’t find them.

She kicked up a massive fuss, sent spam texts, I went up to find them and when I came down, I had 75 texts!!

I just broke down, with everything that’s gone on lately I just melted. I ran to the bathroom and cut. One of friends caught me and has taken my blade off me.

I knew I’d break sooner or later. The urge for the last 2 weeks has been huge, and the suicidal feelings have been strong too.

On Wednesday, I had counselling and Steph said for me to be bump me up to a counsellor, she’d have to close my file and get my doctor to re-refer me; which has been done, but there is like an 8-week waiting list. I dunno how I’m gonna cope.

Wednesday is gonna be the last group session, which Steph runs, and I’m gonna tell her I cut and that I can’t cope anymore. I’m just way too messed up!

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