Yesterday morning, I was trying to pay some of my fine and it wasn’t working.
As usual, I rung the number, put in the division number and then my account number. My account number starts with 1, but when the automated system would repeat back to me, it said “2,1”, and I tried it 3 or 4 times. So, I decided I’d go online. I got to the part of the form where I had to type my account number, and it said “Your account number must include 8 numbers and follow with a letter”. The number I had been given was more than 8 numbers, and doesn’t contain any letters, so I panicked that maybe none of my fine had been paid.
I found another number that I could try and ring but this time there was 7 options. My sister was playing a game on the playstation, and I had missed what option I had to press a fair few times. Each time, I asked her to please be quiet, but then one point, she proper yelled at the game. I ended the call, yelled at her to “shut the f up” and threw my phone at her. (My friend who had stayed the night later commented how she had never seen me so angry before). I came to my bedroom, eventually got through to someone and paid some off my fine. I still felt angry, and really emotional, the urge to cut was high but I felt too emotionally drained to do anything. I just lay on my bed and cried.
I felt so good that when I felt like cutting, I just through my bag out of the way and fought that urge. I probably would have earned a lot of points with the way I felt, and although I’m happy I fought it, I am also angry I didn’t earn some points. But, however small, there is a small breakthrough that I didn’t cut.