Today, I went back to the doctors and she gave me a Prozac antidepressant called fluoxetine.
Still feel fobbed off, I went about sleeping, and I still feel if I was given something to help me sleep, my mood would improve. However, I was grateful that I’ve got something.
There was no leaflet with the capsules, so I googled Fluoxetine and read a by about it. Reading about it, I’ve become scared to take them. They can increase the risk of self harm and suicide for the first few weeks of taking them. Steph, my counsellor, already has said my risk of S.H and suicide is high. I don’t wanna make it higher.
Also, for me, I just want this to be a short term thing, but Dr said they recommend 6 months to see it’s full effects. I am quite stubborn with accepting help, but I really have never wanted anti-depressants anyway and especially not for that long!
I’m also terrified that I’ll take them, and when/if they work and I start feeling ok, and come off them that I’ll just become this depressed again. I read a review that said once they stared to come off them, things started to become clear and they felt bad again. I don’t want my life to become a haze. I want to be happy, and lessen my self doubt about things, but I want to be able to see things for how they are.
When I read C’s book, she was addicted to benzodiazepines and whilst on them, she didn’t feel anything, and had been in 2 bad marriages, once she had come off them, she began to see things clearly. Damn I wish I could talk to her about this!
I really don’t know what to do. I start group therapy tomorrow, and Steph is actually running it, so I will see if I can chat to her about it too.
Anyone on here, please help me decide.