24th May

Just a brief before I start this blog to make it understandable to new followers.
My problems began in January when I got arrested. I had been emailing a woman, C saying I had been a victim of sexual abuse when I wasn’t. She found out I was Lyon and went to the police. I only did it because I felt lonely and unloved, and C cared and showed me love. Have had months of court cases etc. It’s over now, and I have a year of probation/supervision (They’re there to help support me and make sure I don’t repeat what I’ve done). Anyway, because of what I said, the stories I told, probation have got social services involved because I have a 14 year old, disabled brother (even though I have never touched a kid in my life!) they told me they were doing this, and I warned my Mum.

This morning, a social worker knocked on the door asking for my Mum and/or Dad. None were in so she left a note for my Mum to ring her. As soon as the woman left, negative thoughts ran through my head, and I panicked a lot. What if she decides I can’t live at home with my brother being here. I’ll have to leave. (I want to leave anyway but have nowhere/no money to do so). I’ve caused so much trouble for a lot of people because of this stupid mistake.
Almost at the brink of tears, and suicidal, I grabbed my things and went to town. I walked to the counselling service, and luckily Steph was free for about 30 mins. She led me out of the waiting room and as soon as the door closed and she asked what was wrong, I burst into tears. We were stood in the middle of the corridor, me crying my eyes out, almost falling to my knees and she was holding me. I know right, what the hell was I doing stood in the middle of a corridor crying? It was like a flood of held back tears just came flooding out and I couldn’t stop them. Stupid huh?
Steph huddled me to the lift and we found a room and talked. I told her about the social worker and she gave me good advice. She said I made a mistake, the court is over and the probation is my punishment. This is something that could ruin my name, how dare anyone say I’m a risk to my brother when I know, and those closest know I wouldn’t hurt him? TBC..

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