Today I’m really nervous. We are going around my Nans for Sunday dinner and the whole family is going to be there.
My Nan, Grandad, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister, 2 aunts and there husbands, 2 uncles, and a cousin if she hasn’t gone to her Dads this weekend. It’s going to be busy, and I really wouldn’t mind if I knew my Mum didn’t have a huge mouth.
The last family gathering was my Mums Birthday, and there I caught her talking to my aunts hubby about the latest that was happening.
When I got arrested, although I’m 21, they wouldn’t interview me without my Mum because of my depression. Whilst waiting for the verdict of the arrest, I told my Mum I didn’t want anyone knowing. Getting home, my Nan was there, and the first thing she did was tell her! And this is one of the reasons I wont talk to her.
Wednesday was the last court date and sentencing, so unless she has already told everyone, she will end up talking about it.
And I know I’m gonna be asked things. Or on the off chance I’m not asked, I’m still gonna have to sit there and listen to them discussing me.
Oooh! And last night, my Mum and Dad took the piss again! We were watching Britains got talent and then the BG More T after. And on BGMT, a guys talent was talking to an imaginary friend (Britain has it all!). Well my Mum said “At least the person you spoke to answered back” and my Dad said “and they thought you had problems”… Maybe I’m just really uptight and not have a sense of humid, but that’s not funny and not what I need.
I wish they’d all know the guilt I feel, all know how depressed this has made me. They think that I made up the depression and I’m going counselling because it helped with the court case. They said “it’s a good job you said you’re depressed. They would have given you a worse sentencing.”
I didn’t see the doctor just to get off lightly! I did it because I realised I need proper help, and have to sort out my confidence in speaking to real people, not those online, and I need to realise I dont have to make stuff up for people to like me.
It’s like they can’t understand I’m really hurting!