Going Back

As some of you know, I’m facing court because I lied to someone :-(. Because of this, I lost my job, and I got told I had to stop doing a thing I liked doing.
Every Saturday, I participated in a local cheerleading team. I was a member of the adult squad, and assistant coach to the youngest. I’m a twin, and she also does this, so for months she’s been going and I’ve been home on a Saturday getting jealous. Yesterday, she came home and said Evie (The head coach/friend) said I could probably go back next month because she’s been told this is all dying down.
Great huh? I can go back doing the only hobby I enjoy!
But no, my brain decides it’s not good. I’m nervous as hell! People there know what’s been going on, it was in the paper! They don’t however, know how depressed I’ve been, how I now self harm. Evie will probably tell them not to ask questions, but that doesn’t stop them talking to me asking how I am. It doesn’t stop the kids asking where I’ve been for months. I’m terrified of going back! Absolutely scared!

Now this is where I wish Lee was here. A friend who I met from my blogs. I know he’d know this feeling and just kick my ass!

Has anyone gone through anything similar? Like going back to work or anything? Please help me if you have. Should I tell Evie I’m scared? Or am I just being pathetic?

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3 thoughts on “Going Back

  1. When my blog was first discovered by everyone at school, going back the next day was the hardest, scariest thing I have ever had to do. I always thought high school was an awful place but once I became vulnerable it was the scariest place I was ever forced to go to. And people looked at me differently, but they looked at me as someone with the strength and the courage to go back and face the world after they had found out. Everybody screws up or gets sick or does things wrong. It’s going back with your head held high that people will remember.

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