My heart actually hurts tonight. I have never felt like this before.
I really wanted to be proven wrong. I have never in my life opened up to my Mum. I got bullied at school, she didn’t know, I never even told her I had started my period- until about 2 years later when we we on holiday and my period came early and she had to get me stuff. I’ve never felt close enough to her to tell her anything because I was always scared she wouldn’t take it seriously. Tonight, I would have loved to be proven wrong, would have loved for her to actually showed she cared. Then her and my Dad just had to take the piss! Really, I couldn’t care less about my Dad, I’ve always known he wouldn’t show any kind of emotion (other than anger) but my Mum has really hurt me. What Mum sits there and takes the piss out of her daughters fears?
My heart has broken and it hurts. It really hurts. All I want to do is cry my eyes out but my sister has come to bed. Unless she has college, she usually stays up late! And tonight, when I’m in the middle of cutting she comes up early. Tonight, when I want to lie in bed a cry my eyes out, she’s early!!! I need to cry really badly and she’s here and I can’t! I think I’d feel better if I cried, but I’m feeling myself get even more down the longer I’m unable to.
Massive 😦 face