Well, I’ll start off my saying that last night was the worst nights sleep ever! I was watching the clock all night; 2.30, 4am, 5am, 6.30 am, 8am…. Then sometime after 8am I fell asleep and woke at 9.10am.
I am so tired and had such a busy day today (for someone that doesn’t work anyway). I left at 10.45 then got home at 3.50 pm, all on one hours sleep!
If you have read, I was quite worried about seeing Steph and having to tell her about the suicidal thoughts. She was quite concerned and her words were “your scores on the cores sheets have always been quite high. Usually by now, I would have had to refer you to the crisis team. But I feel that once the court case is over we will see some difference”. So, I have reluctantly agreed to her getting in touch with the crisis team if there is no improvement on the suicidal thoughts by our 2nd session after today (9th may-day after court case). So Mr Brain, get them thoughts away from me unless you wanna be sectioned!!!!
I also said I would like to be try the group therapy, that she had previously mentioned, but that I was quite scared because I really didn’t fancy sitting in a room full of people I didn’t know. However, she said she is running the next set of group therapy, and if she can get me a place on that, then that would be good- at least I’ll know her. I am just waiting for her to speak to her manager to see if I can be given a place at such short notice.
She is busy next week, but is gonna give me a call on Thursday morning to see if I’m ok, and my next appointment is the Wednesday after that.
She also really liked my ‘don’t kill the butterfly’ idea… So yeah the session wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.
I’m gonna try and nap now, I’m exhausted, but thought I’d update you all before I settled into calmness.