I wish it was an April fools

I just can’t deal with today at all. I am missing C a lot today, and my family are just being annoying!

Days like this, with my family, are days I would really seek C’s comfort. When I feel there is no care or love even about, when I feel extremely low and can’t be bothered. I would email C and even speak on the phone. She had a softness in her voice that was loving and caring and it would make me cry. I remember a time I cried down the phone saying “I want my Mum” and the way she comforted me with that was amazing. It was the truth, I wanted my Mum, I wanted a Mum to just love and cuddle me. Why can’t I get that at home? Maybe if I had it, I wouldn’t have even contacted C in the first place, and I wouldn’t be in this trouble now.

It is my Mum’s birthday today, and I bought her a lovely bracelet. I’ve not even had a simple thank you!

I wish someone would tell me this is an April fools joke and my life would be happy again!

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3 thoughts on “I wish it was an April fools

  1. Awwwwwwwwwww…….I’m going to email you now……I’m having a day like you too…..this post really made me want to cry for you…….but with this stupid Zoloft I can’t even do that anymore……anytime I would be having terrible anxiety before I was on these meds and my heart was just broken to pieces I would cry…..and I NEVER cry…..now I just…..can’t!!
    But, my heart broke a little more reading your post……don’t you dare give up on me!!! You and I are stronger then our mental illness…….we will beat it!!!

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