So, I cut last night! I got brought down, and not feeling any better this morning. Last night, I almost got to the point of cutting across my wrist. I’m not scared of dying, I’m scared of being found and saved.
Do you know how it feels to be so low, so guilty that you would rather die. Where you feel so alone that dying is better than living? That’s a sad feeling, extremely sad.
I got given a risk assessment plan from counselling, giving me things to do when I need it. None of them things worked last night, usually they work great. But I just felt awful last night.
Also, Steph suggested I get antiseptic cream for when I do cut. I got some last week and last night was the first time I’ve had to use it. BOY does that stuff sting! All night I would get a sharp sting! I suppose I should cut in the first place but wow! That was more painful than actually cutting!