Stings a bit

So, I cut last night! I got brought down, and not feeling any better this morning. Last night, I almost got to the point of cutting across my wrist. I’m not scared of dying, I’m scared of being found and saved.

Do you know how it feels to be so low, so guilty that you would rather die. Where you feel so alone that dying is better than living? That’s a sad feeling, extremely sad.

I got given a risk assessment plan from counselling, giving me things to do when I need it. None of them things worked last night, usually they work great. But I just felt awful last night.

Also, Steph suggested I get antiseptic cream for when I do cut. I got some last week and last night was the first time I’ve had to use it. BOY does that stuff sting! All night I would get a sharp sting! I suppose I should cut in the first place but wow! That was more painful than actually cutting!

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3 thoughts on “Stings a bit

  1. sometimes you can’t do anything but feel the need to SI. It isn’t a really bad thing. It’s just a ‘blip’ try and not overly stress about it. The biggest thing you did was to write about it. Talk about it. And treat it for what it is, Any antiseptic will hurt. Keep looking after them. And please just take it easy on yourself for a little while.

  2. I know you read my blogs…..so you know I’ve stated a few times…….I’M NOT AFRAID OF DYING, IM AFRIAD OF LIVING…….you and I get along so well because we totally get each other!!!!
    Please be careful and no more cutting……I know you can’t promise me that…..just like I couldn’t promise you that either……but please email me before you start….I’ll do the same….maybe we can talk our way out of hurting ourselves

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